Remember the days of teenage-hood where we perfected the skill of staying as far away from the parents as possible, when the words and the advice of friends were more precious to us than the advice of a well meaning mother or aunty.  The adults just never understood, did they?

For university, I went 6 hours away from Toronto to Montreal and being on my own was the greatest feeling.  I felt strong and independent and felt like the world was in the palm of my hand.  No need for the help of my parents except for the occasional help with moving apartments each year and a stash of food in the freezer.

Fast forward a few years.  I have a 6 month old baby and live in a small town in Switzerland….and now I really miss having my Mum around!

Mum arrived last week.  F was away on a business trip (and arrived back with Man Flu), and I was tired from being up all night with BB.  I was emotional from giving up breastfeeding, covered in eczema (hormonal or emotional – it was hard to tell) and BB was teething in a huge way!  It was not a pretty picture.

In the space of a week, Mum managed to give me a reiki treatment to help the emotional drama, some herbal tea to help the eczema, help me understand that not breast feeding does not mean the end of bonding for me and BB, organise the kitchen cupboards, get rid of F’s man flu, and cook dinner every night as well as leave us with some rice and curry to eat for two days after she left.  Not to mention that she kept BB entertained all day, taught her to roll over, encouraged some new weaning foods and taught me some new developmental games to play with her.  Phew…not a bad week’s work!

It has taken a long time time to figure out, but  now that I am 31 and have a daughter of my own, my Mum’s words are now the most important ones and only she will do when it feels like its all getting too much!

This is the perfect day to say Yes.

I have been reading Sunday Scribblings for a while, and kept thinking that I wasn’t yet writer enough to write an entry and share with the world.  Well, today I am saying Yes to Sunday Scribblings….as a step towards writing.

Not saying No teaching right now, but saying Yes to a change while Baby Bee is tiny.

Saying No to a 8-5 and saying Yes to a 24hour a day job that consumes my entire self but in such a huge, but delicious way.

Saying Yes to babies has changed my life.  For a while now, it has been so strange to watch the girl that used to be here before I got pregnant take a backseat, while this new girl has emerged.  One that could never have imagined how vibrant the world has become since Baby Bee arrived.  Yes, it is also sprinkled with poop and diapers and spit up.  And yes, I am more emotional than ever, and more stressed than ever.  This is the hardest job I have ever had.  But also having a baby has helped to me to live only moment for moment….you can’t do anything else when you spend your entire day with a 5 month old.

So I am committing to it.  And I am committing to writing more often than I was.  Things are going to happen this year!  Though I am not sure what yet. And I don’t just mean Baby Bee’s first steps

It is raining babies!  I was talking to a friend who is becoming an aunty in just a few months and was telling her all about all the cool things we have come across since Baby Bee arrived.   Not that we think we are experts, but if we have found something useful, we’d like to share the joy.  Afterall, this baby raising job is wonderful, but not easy.  We need to share our resources, right?

Some things we were told by other mummies and daddies and some we figured out by ourselves.    There are probably a tonne more cool things for babies out there, but here are a few that made our first few months with Mira a lot easier.

Please add to the list or pass the list along if you want and keep your eye open for other cool things.

Be warned….very long post!

And this is Episode 1, cuz Mira is only 5.5 months old…and I am sure we will have lots of other things to share too.

Baby Innovations Diaper Changing Mat

This was given to me by my cousin when I was freaking out that a baby was really going to cramp our style in travelling.  It is the best thing that has ever happened to us.  It fits in my Matt and Nat bag and holds two diapers, wipes (it has a little wipes container) and a change of clothes.  The mat is a little padded so it is perfect for changing Baby Bee on the go, as well as using for a massage at the end of the day when we are travelling.  No need for a diaper bag, just pop this in your purse/man bag/laptop bag/backpack.  Love it!

Manhattan Toy Skwish

This cool toy was give to us by some good friends of ours who already have two kids.  They sent us a box of “All of our Favourite Baby Products” and it has been very loved by Mini Bee…she loves to pling the elastic (I know pling is not a word, but it expresses me perfectly).  It bounces when she throws it, it is light enough and slim enough for her little hands to hold, the wooden balls are great for her to chew (she is teething right now) and the colours really hold her attention.  She has loved this since the beginning and it is still her fave by a mile.

Mothercare Muslin Burp Cloths

Okay, you do not know the meaning of spit up until you have met Baby Bee.  She is the spit up queen!  These burp cloths have saved our lives…and our clothes, sofa, bed, floor, stroller, baby carrier…the list goes on.  Plus, the more you wash them, the softer they get.  Mira likes to chew on them too, now that she is teething.

Baby Bjorn Baby Carrier

We have tried all the other carriers, this one rules.  That is all.

Baby Links

My mum is an Infant Development Specialist.  Yes, she is keeping a close eye on Mini Bee’s mile stones.  She sent us an entire box of these links.  At the time we thought she was a little nutty, but they are the best ever.  We use them on the stroller, the baby seat, the baby gym, as a rattle, as a teether.  Mira loves them!  Way to go, Nanni.

Medela Mini Electric Breast Pump

The best ever little mini, but ever so strong pump.  I loved it.

The Swaddle

Put Little Bee to sleep in seconds!  We got this from a friend who has a baby only 6 weeks older than us.  We didn’t use it at first – wondering what the strange blanket contraption was.  It turned out to be the best gift!  Mira had crazy colic, but this helped her to feel secure. She loved to be wrapped up nice and snug just like she was back in her old ‘hood – the womb.

See also:

http://www.happiestbaby.com/

The Miracle Blanket

A great swaddle.  There is no getting out of this one.  Mira slept for so much longer when

Breastfeeding Pillow

This was given to me by a friend – a mother of two.  Mira was early and was only 5lb, and had to be breast fed every 1.5 to 2 hours at the beginning.  This pillow was a great support.  I felt kind of like those cigarette girls with the thing strapped around my waist, but it really helped me to enjoy breast feeding.  I didn’t use it for long, because I started to feed Mira sitting upright, but it was a great start for both of us!

Formula Dispenser

Now that Bee is on formula, this is the best thing ever!  Recommended by some friends of ours who are awesome parents.

Mucus Sucker and the Breathe Easy Drops

Mucus and Mira caused a lot of drama in the last few months.  This really helped us to help her clear her nose.  She was able to breastfeed and sleep a lot easier.  F and I got some strange satisfaction out of showing each other how much mucus we were able to catch in it!

Safe Mama Website

Okay, I admit. I am a little paranoid about the BPA and the chemicals in the baby lotion.  But I was like that before baby bee came along, so I don’t feel weird sharing this.

http://safemama.com/

Smart Mom Teether

Since Mira has started grabbing my necklace and trying to suck on it, as well as trying to shove anything she can get her hands on in her mouth, this teething necklace is really cool.  Plus it is easy to give her when I am carrying her in the Baby Bjorn.

Sophie the Giraffe

Yes, we all know and love her. Although Mira was not interested in her until just a few weeks ago, she is now a very loved member of our family!

The Wean Machine

Okay, so we have not used this yet, but it looks awesome.  Mira is now on squashed carrots and rice as her first weaning foods.  I think the wean machine is going to be great to take travelling with us when we can’t lug the food processor.

Reggae Playground

Really cool songs to dance to with Baby.  Not too cheesy and baby sounding, but still fun.  See also:

Raffi

We love Banana Phone.

F has been writing about the new year and so have so many other people.  Well, its the thing to do in the new year, right?  Actually, I never make new year’s resolutions.  They annoy me.  I have been going to the gym for years now (inspired by F, the gym buff, who designs my workouts for me!!) and every January, the gym gets really busy – you can never find a treadmill when you want it, or a locker to put your stuff and some people just take too long to learn the rule of wiping down the equipment when they are done! And then every February, the gym gets back to normal…all the new year’s resolutioners fade into the background….

The thing is, new year’s resolutions are too much pressure.  All that deciding and planning and organising and changing is just too much.  I am, by nature a worrier and a planner, but I have noticed something interesting about my life.  All the thing that I didn’t plan are all the things that are so amazing about my life.  I never planned to go to London after graduation, I never planned to teach Year 6 (Grade 6), I never planned to do my MA so soon, I never planned on getting a boy friend as soon as I got to London, I certainly didn’t plan on marrying him, I never planned moving to Switzerland, ….and I NEVER planned having a baby.  That one really sprung on me quickly!  I never even planned on enjoying being on maternity leave…and yet here I am enjoying Baby Bee and our time together! Okay some days are very much less blissful than others, but you get my drift.

I guess the thing is, once I stopped planning what was going to be and started just enjoying what was right there…the universe started planning for me.  And I am not complaining.  I like what it has given me.  I love it, even.  So, no new year’s resolutions for me…except to continue being grateful for all the un-planned and wonderful things I already have!

Having the good life is simple when you practice the one you have – MommaZen

We did it! We manage to take Baby Bee on her first trip….and we are all back in one piece without one single nervous breakdown!!

After lots of advice from friends who have babies, we finally decided to pack one bag for mine and F’s stuff and one bag for M.  At the time it seemed like a good idea, baby things altogether and grown up things all together.  But seeing as I am a neat freak when it comes to packing my bag and F (even though he is my favourite boy)  is, well…not, our bag ended up looking like an explosion while M’s bag remained an oasis of calm.  Note to self:  do not share suitcase with a boy.  Next time, all the girls clothes in one bag and all the boys clothes in the other!

Now you know you have all seen them – the mother walking with the stroller, cool and collected and the dad staggering behind, all sweaty and tired.  I once vowed never to travel like that.  I mean, what is wrong with the dad with the stroller and mom with the luggage trolley.  When I told this to F, he informed me that no matter what I said, he would end up carrying the luggage anyway.  We’ll see, I said, we’ll see.

What really happened:  Me, strolling along with Mira in our trendy Bugaboo Bee stroller with my Matt and Nat oversized bag now doubling as my very cool diaper bag on my shoulder.  Nice, right?   Farhan, bringing up the behind with one rolling suitcase, a large duffle bag on one shoulder and a rucksack on the other.  I promise I offered to take the rolling suitcase, but he did say he was fine.  But, he does get to say he told me so.

The plane was a dream – Baby Bee sat on her dad’s lap and after a nice long feed went promptly to sleep both there and the way pack.  Nice!  On the way back, there was the explosive poo diaper, but we managed to save ourselves and had a change of clothes for the babe….I forgive her.

But really what I wanted to say was that the trip was amazing for a bunch of reasons….

• Being in London, M and I actually had places to walk to, rather than the same old stroll we do in Nyon.  We walked to Nottinghill, High Street Kensington and all up and down Westbourne Grove.  It was amazing, even though one day poured with rain!  We were excited to go out!  M did not fuss, she loved all the long walks with new things to look at,  Or maybe she was just fascinated with the huge grin on my face since I was soooo happy to be back in the buzz of my favourite city.
• There were so many place I could breast feed without feeling uncomfortable.  Cafe Nero, Nandos, Wholefoods, Planet Organic….the list goes on.  Its just that everyone in London has things to do or places to be other than to stare at the woman breast feeding at the corner table!
• Oh my gosh! The food in London is just the best.  No matter the time of day, there was always a healthy option of fast food.  Me being the brown rice, lots of veggies, hearty salad, sunflower seed eating maniac that I am, it just confirms that I need to be in LONDON!!!
• Friends, friends, friends…..I miss them!
• Black cabs in London let to take a stroller inside as long as the baby is strapped in and the brakes are on.  What other city can offer that?
• London makes me feel excited to just be. In all the city chaos, there is some kind of calm that I love.

So, a mommy, a daddy, three bags and a baby later, we were happy to be back in our flat in Switzerland, but even more fired up to find a way back home to London.

….the rock that is the first eight weeks of baby bee’s (a.k.a. Mira Ruby Shariff Lalji)  life, that is.  Someone asked me the other day how it feels to have a baby and I responded that it is so much more amazing, but so much tougher than I ever thought it would be.

But the last eight weeks has been a whirlwind  of feeding, burping, spit up (lots of it), diapers, explosive poops, colic, gas, a baby cold, visits from both grandmas and a good friend, Mira’s first smile, hormonal melt downs (mine), learning to bath a baby (she loves it!), cradle cap, developmental play (influenced by one of the grandmas), swaddles (life savers), gripe water, Raffi songs, downloading ocean sounds to replicate the placenta, burping to music, excitement over fitting into pre-pregnancy clothes, disappointment at the muffin top, half finished sentences and phone conversations (mine), retiring of the blow dryer, the rhythmic sound of the breast pump at 6:30 in the morning, insane amounts of laundry, how could I miss out the lack of sleep, cute little baby clothes, figuring out how the stroller works, baby massage, sleeping while the baby is sleeping (yeah, right.), worrying about breast milk, reading all the books by baby experts (too bad the babies don’t read the books, then it would all fit the description, right?), doing the dance of victory when she finally falls peacefully asleep, trying a schedule, scrapping the schedule…

…and watching this perfect creature find her way in her new space one day at a time, falling madly in love with this little girl even though we have only known her for two months, and knowing that no matter how many hormonal melt downs I have left (and trust me, they are dramatic!), it is amazingly worth it.

And all this from the girl who said she wasn’t interested in having babies.  For the very first time in my life, I will admit that I was wrong   What a fabulous, crazy adventure this is going to be!

Mira, two weeks old

After 6 attempts to write a post this morning, interupted by some serious gas and spit up, the early end of a nap, more spit up, a hungry baby bee and a yellow poop diaper, I finally did it!  This can only mean that things are looking up…. (and I was even out of my pyjamas before noon today!)

I read this article in The Economist about Teach First, an organisation that is trying to get “high flyers” to get into teaching, since a think tank has found that the kind of people that go into teaching are often the students that did not do very well at univeristy.  Not always true…I have taught with amazing super teachers in the last 6 years.  But then again, I have also taught with people who thought they could sail through the day without much work.

Teach First provide a six week program to train these high flyers and then send them into the classroom.  Not just any old classroom; some of the hardest to teach areas in England.

“As Teach First becomes better known, teaching will start to be seen as a job for ambitious go-getters,” the article says.

If you could spend one day in a school in an inner London borough, you too would agree that only ambitious go-getters need apply.  So not all the teachers out there are from the bottom of the heap.  There are so many out there changing the world one child at a time. I know many super teachers who work hard with children who have been labelled “hard to reach”.

Okay, on the whole, I totally agree with the idea that teaching programs should be vigorous and demand respect from the students and at the moment, not many post secondary institutions are demanding this from their graduates and teachers are going out into the field unprepared to teach.

The teaching program I did in university was not challenging enough for the students and did not really prepare me for the real life job of teaching, especially in teaching hard to reach students.  That I learned on the job from the staff and students at a very special school in East London.  The profs in my program had been out of the classroom so long that they could not support us in any practical way – they simply stuck to outdated theory.  I had only one prof who challenged us.  She gave tough assignments and was still in touch with the type of children we were meeting in the classroom.  It was obvious that she was up to date with recent developments and studies in the field and was eager to share and discuss them with us.  She also had high academic expectations of us.  If we couldn’t make it past her practical and academic challenges, well then, we had to take the course again.  That did weed out the students who were there for an easy pass.

I have had two student teachers in my classroom in the last six years of teaching.  The first, did not deserve my beautiful children.  She was not inspired, she was not up the the academic standard that they deserved and she had little respect for all the work that really goes into providing a positive classroom experience for children.  The second student teacher I had was a student at another university and was intelligent and inspired to teach.  She planned exciting, creative and educational lessons for the children, while at the same time completing a challenging academic program at her university.  I learned lots from her too.  She is now teaching at an inner london school and doing a great job, I am sure.  But the difference between the two students was too great.   The first one should not have been in the field at all and the second will make a difference to the children she teaches.  They were both at different univeristies, so it is clear that there is no consistency regarding the expectations of students who wish to be teachers.

Unfortunately if we have teaching programs that are wishy washy, the profession is never going to attract the best candidates.  And as a teacher, not only do I want to be around other strong teachers who care and teach at the best standard to work with and learn from, I also want this for my child and all the other children I have and will be teaching.  I want the cream of the crop for my colleagues and for my children (the ones I teach and the one I am carrying!)

Why are we waiting for an outside organisation to train teachers? Why can’t the universities provide inspirational teaching and leadership in a program?  Why can’t they prepare students to teach just as this Teach First program is doing, with relevant techniques and support from teachers who are really in the field?  I have always wanted to be a teacher – I want to teach in the areas that are the hardest to teach and I can do it.  I just wish that my university had prepared me a little better and treated me like a “high flyer” just like Teach First is doing.

People always say that teaching is a “noble” profession (which is not the way you feel after a day of teaching a class of 30 children, covered in paint and that white school glue, let me tell you), well then universities should make a better job of preparing us and sending a message to the world that teaching is challenging and important and may only the best apply, please.

The latest Vanity Fair had F and I in a serious debate about paper vs digital.  James Walcott was wondering what would happen to all those culture snobs out there if we all started reading books on digital readers or on our phones.  And I must admit, I am one of those people who are interested in what other people are reading on the Tube, in the park, at the train station and at home…and yes, sometimes I do make assumptions about them based on what they are reading, I admit it!

I mean, when I first met F, I liked him and thought he was interesting, and as my friend Y and I  discussed if he was boyfriend material, she mentioned an important point; one day she had seen him reading The Economist.  Well, he scored points on that, I tell you.  He must know about the world, he must have ideas and opinions to discuss if he was reading that magazine, we thought to ourselves.  And points were scored for F (among other things, but this showed me something about him that I had not realised yet).

Okay, so while I don’t really like the idea of digital readers because I can’t be nosy and see what other people are reading, I also think that it is taking some of the experience of reading away from us.  Remember that first chapter book you ever read and the  that familiar smell of a library book that has been enjoyed by people before you…the creases of the page that tell you that someone else curled up on the sofa with this book and loved it as much as you did.  Or the the feel of the fresh spine on a new book waiting to be discovered and then the satisfying feeling of seeing it on your shelf as one of the chosen favourite books …is that really the same thing as tapping a screen to move to the next page or opening a file to read The Book Thief? A book shelf at someone’s home tells you about who they are, what they care about, what makes them happy and where they have been in life.  I love being able to see that from my bookshelf and from other people’s.  If everything is digital, where will we share this aspect of ourselves?  On a play list?  On the book apps on Facebook?

While I do think that we (including me) will end up having digital readers the same way that we have ipods and cell phones – because this is the future and no-one wants to get left behind, I don’t think that digital readers are ever going to replace the way I feel about books.  So, yes, I will take a Kindle on holiday so that I don’t have to lug three books with me in my carry-on, but it will never replace all the read, re-read and loved books on my shelf.

And just think, if F had been reading The Economist on his phone instead and Y had never seen it, who knows how the story would have turned out!

“Attention is the most concrete expression of love. What you pay attention to thrives. What you do not pay attention to withers and dies.”

Karen Maezen Miller

This is what Momma Zen said on her blog and I love it.  You have to pay attention to stuff, whether it is the cake baking in the oven, a child in a classroom, your laundry, your family and friends…all of these things and people need you to pay attention to them.

This is a funny time for me.  I am finished school for the summer and instead of going back in September, I will be meeting our baby.  I feel a little scared, a little excited and very curious as to how this is all going to be.  I have always thrown myself into my work and my classroom and it has kind of become who I am.  I am a little worried about what “I” will be without it for a while.    Growing up, I always visualised being a teacher, not a mother, but now, I will be learning to be a mother.  I am sure that this new journey will bring lots of things for me to learn and will add more dimentions to what “I” am made of,  but it feels so new and undiscovered that I have to admit, I am very nervous.

Nervous about how to be a mum, but also nervous about not being a teacher and losing that really important part of who I am.  But then I read the post by Momma Zen.

I make a big deal about giving all my students attention in the classroom.  The same attention, but different for each child.  This is what I think helps them grow from shy little seeds into big strong beanstalks.  My teaching assistant in London, (who taught me so much about being a teacher) calls this attention TLC.  Attention matters to me.  When the children feel secure and happy, it is only then that they can really engage in creating a classroom community and take part in learning.

But thinking about this, I needn’t feel lost because I guess now is the time to pay attention to my own little baby.  She needs attention so that she can grow and thrive.   So after giving all my attention to lots of children over the last six years, which I have loved and will absolutely return to,  I think I will take a little time to give attention to the sunflower in my own belly and see what I learn from that!

P.S. I have planted sunflower seeds on the balcony.  And they are still alive.  Yay!  Fingers crossed I can keep them growing until the flowers start to bloom

Yes, we are in the third trimester!  I can’t believe how fast time has passed.  That unbelievable moment of seeing two lines on the pee stick seems like a lifetime ago.  It has been a good ride so far.

First trimester was a whirl of insane hormones and extreme sleepiness. Not a good combination, especially in a new country and so far from all my friends and fam – so you could say I was really happy to be done with the first three months!

But the last three months have been lots of fun.  I felt great and the crazy hormones melted away when the happy hormones really kicked in!  The idea of the two of us becoming three started to sound more exciting and we even started buying baby clothes!  My bump looked cute (although my butt seemed to grow along with it!  The midwife says that big bums mean good breast milk, but  I think she is just trying to make me feel better!)  The baby started to kick and even more fun was when F felt her for the first time.  It made us happy  that some old school hip hop was playing on the TV and that was the first time we really felt her dancing for her life!  Thank goodness she will have some good music taste   And I loved it when F could feel the baby too.

And now we are in the home stretch.  Wow!  Feeling excited to soon meet this little person who has been using my body as her private condo for the last 6 months and who will continue to make herself comfortable in the next 3.  Being pregnant hasn’t been the drama that I thought it was going to be and even my expanding body has not freaked me out as much as I thought it would.  Doing yoga and keeping active has been amazing for me.

But that was before we hit third trimester and the blazing hot summer in Switzerland!!  Thank goodness for the lake and outdoor swimming pools! But we are going the Montreux Jazz Festival to see Q-tip, Raphael Saadiq, Mos Def and Lilly Allen, taking the train to Paris, good friends are coming to visit and I have 2 months off all to look forward to!

Still on the hunt for a cool diaper bag…I’ll let you know the adventures of finding a diaper bag another day.  I know you can’t wait for that