Posted by: Shireen | February 13, 2014

Me and my Bean

With starting part time work when he was 6 months old and having to keep up with Little Bee, and general life at the moment Bean kind of pulled the short end of the stick when it comes to attention.

I feel bad about this if I am really honest. I remember having lots of time to do “nothing” with Little Bee. Just time to bond and time to sit and sing or look at the trees or how the sun shines in the window. Then I would write about it on this blog. SO many posts about “noticing” Little Bee grow. So many posts about being tired, but falling in love with my baby.

These days I feel like I am rushing Bean to do everything. I don’t have time to look out the window because I have to make dinner. I don’t have time to sit and play with our musical instruments because I am running out the the door to take Little Bee to drama class or to the school Valentine’s Day disco or just running to pick her up from school on time. I don’t have time to roll on the floor and play with the stacking cups because I have to get the dishes from the morning done. I don’t have time to watch the naked trees blowing in the gusty winds we are getting this winter because I am too busy getting my things ready for work. And some days I don’t have time to play, because I am too damn tired from parenting two little kids. So I am a grumpy mama and not really much fun to play with anyway.

But Bean is quite an awesome little guy. Flash him a smile and it makes his day….he grins from cheek to cheek and makes you feel like you are the best thing that ever happened. His laugh is the most beautiful and right now, he laughs his head off at lots of things, like throws his head back and belly laughs…so Little Bee and I just love to figure out what will make him giggle today! He loves to just sit in the kitchen when I am cooking and bang out a tune on a mixing bowl with a wooden spoon. He babbles away and when you offer a reply, he is amazed that he has been “understood”! He always has time for a cuddle and if I stop for a minute to just enjoy his chubby baby-ness, it fills me up for the rest of the day. I love the way he gently strokes my cheek as if to say, Hi Mama, you feel good today. Those gentle, kind eyes that say, it’s ok, Mama, you are ok.

having a laugh

having a laugh

So I am going to try and stop worrying about all that I don’t have time for, and start noticing the moments that I do have time for. Like a cuddle after nap, nose kisses, rolling on the cushions before dinner and a dance across the living room if there is time before the school run!

Which reminds me…I had better run!

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Responses

  1. I absolutely love this post! As someone who is always scared of the day we have kids because of all the busy times, you always remind me that the wonderful is way more wonderful than the scary is scary! He is the best little guy ever because his mamma is so wonderful too!

  2. Thanks, Shaleen! Not going to lie – the biggest shock about having kids is how much time they zap! But then they give you this big toothy grin, and you don’t care that you never have time to take a shower longer than 4 mins šŸ˜‰

  3. Thank you! Life with kids is manic and I often wish for the old peacefulness of my life before. But then you get a hug or a kiss or an amazing smile and it is worth it šŸ™‚

  4. Oh how I can relate to this – I remember feeling the exact same way when my second baby was little. But then kind of an amazing thing happened – I realized that he seemed to learn very quickly and easily that Mama’s love is always there, even if I wasn’t. He was a content, easy going, loving baby – very much like your little Bean sounds – and he taught me to give myself a break because he loved me just the same.

  5. I so often relate to your musings on this blog Shireen. All I can say is keep enjoying those little moments in lieu of worry. I’m trying to take my own advice, and it can be hard, but I always think that happy mamas enjoying a healthy balance in life is a good example for our babies. And I’ve definitely felt that my little boy gets taken along for ‘the ride’ a lot more than LLC did! He is adorable by the way.

    There’s a tag for you over at mine šŸ™‚

  6. Tanya! How lovely to “see” you! It is true – worrying means that the kids just don’t get the best of us…better to be a imperfect than to ignore the special moments in search of perfection, right?
    I am popping over to see you now….


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